Jesus' Lap

TDM was on the road a lot when I was pregnant with Miss E and it became almost like clockwork that on Wednesday night each week I would fall into a pit anxiety.  I spent so many nights during that time worrying over things that I couldn't change and often, worrying over things that weren't even happening but somehow my mind figured that they could happen.  It wasn't until a Sunday morning when our pastor shared an illustration about crawling into Jesus' lap that I was able to overcome it.  When I would start to feel my 'Wednesday night feeling' coming on I would close my eyes and picture myself curled up in Jesus lap.  What a relief from the endless cycle of worrying over 'what if's.'

I haven't thought about that time again until earlier tonight when I realized that I am starting to develop a similar routine again.  I don't like this!  And I'm struggling to find that place of absolute peace that Jesus' lap gives me.  I know it is there - but I feel like Miss E moving all over the place trying to find just the right position.  I just can't seem to settle down and stop squirming.  The 'what if's' are killing me.  I seriously need to find myself a lap to curl up in.