If you give a mom a bathroom to clean...
If you give a mom a bathroom to clean...
She will want to do it really well.
She will begin by wiping the walls, the shower, the floor, the heat vent cover.
And if she pulls the vent cover off she will need a vacuum to clean the vent.
When she goes to get the vacuum one of her kids will need something so she will have to help.
And if she helps one kid, she will end up having to help the other kid.
Once both kids are helped she will remember that she was scrubbing walls
and forget all about the vacuum.
Her dad will stop over.
They will visit for a while and then decide to pull the refrigerator out to clean behind it.
When they pull the refrigerator out, they will discover dust. Lots of dust.
Papa will go off in search of a screw driver. Which will mean that he also has to look for a flashlight.
Once the 'dust' cover is off of the refrigerator, the mom will have to go find the vacuum.
Together they will remove large amounts of dust from inside the fridge, the mom joking "this probably won't work if I take the dust out" because #appliancesarenotfriendsthismonth.
The mom will decide to wash the wall behind the fridge, and the floor and the cabinet it sits beside.
Returning the fridge to it's usual place, they will decide to do the same thing behind the oven.
The mom tells no jokes this time, because she is doing contortionist moves while trying to fit behind the stove without pulling on the gas line or electric cord.
Once the stove, floor, walls and cabinet are done, Papa will decide to leave.
The mom will sit down for a minute to check Facebook and notice that someone wants to drop something off.
The mom will cringe, take a deep breath and reply "Yes, but don't judge."
The mom will hop in the shower quickly before having to answer the door again.
Dropper Offer and the mom will visit for a while before one of the kids needs one on one attention.
Mom and child will bond over glitter glue before mom gathers the courage to return to the bathroom project.
Child will decide that it is a good time to take a bath so into the bathroom they both go.
Her other child will choose this exact time to begin inventing in the kitchen. Project MC2 crayon makeup anyone? Oh yeah! Wax, again! Because You Tube makes it look awesome!
Clean the vent, turn the oven on, wipe the walls, take wax out of the oven, break the light fixture, repeat the wax process, the bathroom will finally be done.
The mom will remember Carpe Diem! and talk the freshly bathed child into a quick haircut.
Grabbing scissors, comb and YouTube she will commence chopping and shaping.
Wax child will subtly wonder why you don't like spending time with her.
Haircut child will wiggle.
Calling it good enough for an amateur the mom will look around the house and see nothing but messes.
She will look at the clock.
Then she will look at the kitchen.
She will wonder why she didn't clean the kitchen today instead.
The living room will still look like a mess.
The bedrooms will still look like a mess.
And the mom will think "Maybe tomorrow I will clean the house."
And if the mom starts cleaning the next day...there is a good chance it will turn out exactly (almost) the same as today did.
She will want to do it really well.
She will begin by wiping the walls, the shower, the floor, the heat vent cover.
And if she pulls the vent cover off she will need a vacuum to clean the vent.
When she goes to get the vacuum one of her kids will need something so she will have to help.
And if she helps one kid, she will end up having to help the other kid.
Once both kids are helped she will remember that she was scrubbing walls
and forget all about the vacuum.
Her dad will stop over.
They will visit for a while and then decide to pull the refrigerator out to clean behind it.
When they pull the refrigerator out, they will discover dust. Lots of dust.
Papa will go off in search of a screw driver. Which will mean that he also has to look for a flashlight.
Once the 'dust' cover is off of the refrigerator, the mom will have to go find the vacuum.
Together they will remove large amounts of dust from inside the fridge, the mom joking "this probably won't work if I take the dust out" because #appliancesarenotfriendsthismonth.
The mom will decide to wash the wall behind the fridge, and the floor and the cabinet it sits beside.
Returning the fridge to it's usual place, they will decide to do the same thing behind the oven.
The mom tells no jokes this time, because she is doing contortionist moves while trying to fit behind the stove without pulling on the gas line or electric cord.
Once the stove, floor, walls and cabinet are done, Papa will decide to leave.
The mom will sit down for a minute to check Facebook and notice that someone wants to drop something off.
The mom will cringe, take a deep breath and reply "Yes, but don't judge."
The mom will hop in the shower quickly before having to answer the door again.
Dropper Offer and the mom will visit for a while before one of the kids needs one on one attention.
Mom and child will bond over glitter glue before mom gathers the courage to return to the bathroom project.
Child will decide that it is a good time to take a bath so into the bathroom they both go.
Her other child will choose this exact time to begin inventing in the kitchen. Project MC2 crayon makeup anyone? Oh yeah! Wax, again! Because You Tube makes it look awesome!
Clean the vent, turn the oven on, wipe the walls, take wax out of the oven, break the light fixture, repeat the wax process, the bathroom will finally be done.
The mom will remember Carpe Diem! and talk the freshly bathed child into a quick haircut.
Grabbing scissors, comb and YouTube she will commence chopping and shaping.
Wax child will subtly wonder why you don't like spending time with her.
Haircut child will wiggle.
Calling it good enough for an amateur the mom will look around the house and see nothing but messes.
She will look at the clock.
Then she will look at the kitchen.
She will wonder why she didn't clean the kitchen today instead.
The living room will still look like a mess.
The bedrooms will still look like a mess.
And the mom will think "Maybe tomorrow I will clean the house."
And if the mom starts cleaning the next day...there is a good chance it will turn out exactly (almost) the same as today did.
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