You hear each spoken need

Driving along the other day, this song was on the radio and I was struck for probably the very first time by the depth of it's message rather than it's tune.  Tonight, as I'm feeling that every one else on the face of the earth has a purpose, that everyone else on the face of the earth is happy, the melody of these words is going through my head.  Brought by a cry to the Lord for peace I'm sure.  The words of this song have are reaching me in a place far deeper than ever before. 

Honestly, it's ridiculous that I feel the way I'm feeling.  I am blessed with healthy children, a sweetly sarcastic husband, food for the table, extended family, a warm bed, friends who make life fun and a recipe for chocolate that is actually healthy.

But deep inside I ache for a purpose.  A plan.  A goal.  Something to cling to.  Something to know what this is my thing.  But, for whatever reason, God doesn't have me there right now.  And perhaps my longing is just as simple as the fact that I don't belong in this world and nothing in it can satisfy me. 

"Blessings"

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're nearWhat if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Somehow, someway, I'm clinging to the truth that God is healing me through tears and sleepless nights, even while I'm not exactly sure what I am healing from.