Sunday

I emptied the sink and loaded the dishwasher this morning, turning toward the refrigerator to realize that the 10 day menu plan that I made, well, 10 days ago, is expired.  My next glance went to my desk where all of the mail and paperwork that has found it's way into our home in the last few days is piled.  Our diaper bag also sits there, needing to be gone through and restocked.  And actually cleaned too since I forgot about the 'empty' pop can that I put in it two days ago when my hands were full. 

A glance at the laundry room reveals yesterdays home improvement project that got interrupted (and re-designed) half way through.  Along with towels that need to be washed, which reminds me that there are sheets in the dryer that need to be folded and put away.

Frustrated by all of that, I decided to that checking Facebook and email would be the place to start this morning.  Which lead me to Pinterest and the thought that I could completely rearrange my boards and they would stay organized because no one controls them but me.  Overwhelmed by the process I gave up.

Church didn't feel like an option this morning because I don't feel like taking the kids by myself.  Again.  The last few weeks TDM has been in the sound booth and has had to leave early.  Getting out the door by myself with the kids - while something I do all of the time - seems so much harder on a Sunday morning.  And truthfully, I don't know where to go.  I am so unsettled by our church situation.

All in all, I find myself just frustrated this morning.  There are so many unknowns for me today.  I would like to make the six hour drive to visit Uncle Pedro and Aunt GG this week but I have commitments on Monday and Thursday and our nephews birthday is Saturday.  And I have a husband who is unexplainably sick.

We spent five hours in the Emergency Room yesterday after TDM has spent nearly a week in bed with a fever.  He checked out of the ER with the same fever that he went in with.  And not a single answer.  This morning his temperature is down.  But it's morning and it is always lower in the morning.  Part of me wants them to find something wrong with him because then they would know how to fix it.  Part of me wants them to find nothing.  And all of me desperately just wants my husband to feel better and be back to normal so that we can get back to the living of life.

I am just so frustrated.  My thoughts are racing but I have no definite answers on a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. 

Maybe I'll finish the scarf that I started the other day.  Or take a nap.

Or knowing me I will walk into another room and decide to repaint it only to end up mentally reviewing my morning and giving up in frustration.  Again.

Ugh.

Update - I just finished my post and realized that someone's little hands posted a half written post when her older sister called me away from the computer a few minutes ago.  That same set of hands is now attempting to tear apart a plant.  I give up.  That nap is looking better and better by the second!

Comments

  1. God gives great directions and peace when we completely follow them..Satan would like nothing better than to make you doubt and re-think what God has been giving you. Sick husbands, curious kids, laundry and all the day to day things have a way of clouding the day. I'm so proud of this mama. You look to God for direction, not the world. Keep loving Jesus and teaching your girls God's precepts.

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