You know better than I
To sum it up...our dog was misdiagnosed nearly two months ago and after essentially getting fed up with the treatment that our current vet was providing we ended up at a new veterinarian's office last Thursday. The diagnosis wasn't hot spots or a skin allergy or anything else that we thought it might be. It was mange. Like what animals in the wild carry. Nice, huh?
The instructions we went home with were to keep the dog isolated from our kids and to clean everything really well. Armed with some quick google facts, common sense and information from our pediatrician I set to work. The big red dog went to stay with his Grandma and Grandpa because one thousand and forty square feet of living space doesn't really allow for isolating children from dogs and I set to vacuuming the floors and the furniture and washing everything.
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
Sometime late Friday afternoon the magnitude of it all hit me. Anger at the first veterinarian for not digging further into the cause of the 'hot spots', anger about all of the money that we have spent on the wrong medications trying to help this dog, anger that my children had been exposed to a mite that causes scabies in humans, anger that my house was being turned upside down because of this. Frustration that TDM and I weren't jiving about how to clean everything without contaminating what had already been cleaned. And tears because I felt helpless. Heavens, let's not forget the tears!
In the midst of my breakdown I realized that a song from the Joseph (pronounced Jos-Pef at our house) movie was playing in the background and my ears tuned into these words:
Because He knows better than I.
The instructions we went home with were to keep the dog isolated from our kids and to clean everything really well. Armed with some quick google facts, common sense and information from our pediatrician I set to work. The big red dog went to stay with his Grandma and Grandpa because one thousand and forty square feet of living space doesn't really allow for isolating children from dogs and I set to vacuuming the floors and the furniture and washing everything.
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
Sometime late Friday afternoon the magnitude of it all hit me. Anger at the first veterinarian for not digging further into the cause of the 'hot spots', anger about all of the money that we have spent on the wrong medications trying to help this dog, anger that my children had been exposed to a mite that causes scabies in humans, anger that my house was being turned upside down because of this. Frustration that TDM and I weren't jiving about how to clean everything without contaminating what had already been cleaned. And tears because I felt helpless. Heavens, let's not forget the tears!
In the midst of my breakdown I realized that a song from the Joseph (pronounced Jos-Pef at our house) movie was playing in the background and my ears tuned into these words:
You know better than I,
You know the way.
I've let go the need to know why,
For You know better than I.
You know the way.
I've let go the need to know why,
For You know better than I.
(Click here for the whole song.)
Now, I'm not walking through any of the stuff that God asked Joseph to walk through but I am walking through what God has asked me to walk through and some days I do it better than others. That song seemed to bring me back to reality, to the fact that everything I had spent the day doing was what I knew to do in the best interest of my kids and that's all that I can do. I don't have answers, I don't know why, but I am equipped with what I need to know to carry out what God has for me. And the things that I lack I can draw from Him. Because He knows better than I.
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