Ministry begins at home
I hate making a commitment and then not being able to follow it through. But becoming a mom changed the way that commitments were made. Instead of "I'll be there!" it became "I'll be there as long as I can find childcare!" which soon transitioned into "I'll be there as long as a) I have childcare, b) No one is puking and c) I can still remember where I'm supposed to be."
And on the home front, the commitments that I had made here were suffering. I would commit to a schedule for naps, but it was 'if there is nothing else that I need to be doing', 'if we are home' and 'we can squeeze it in between ___ and ___' and then I would be frustrated beyond frustrated that nothing I did ever seemed to work.
It became clear to me that something had to go. As I took a mental inventory of the things in my life there were certain things that weren't going away. My husband, our children, our home, financial responsibilities, both sets of our parents...none of those things were variable. But MOPS, women's ministry, planning special events, attending every church activity, decorating bulletin boards, etc...those were variables.
It soon became even clearer that my non-variables were suffering greatly because of the variables. Yes, my family was getting the worst of me so that others could get the best of me. After all, I was just suffering for Jesus, you know!
But that scared me a bit. I realized that my relationship with my husband could change, if I was focusing on the right things. Discipline problems that were springing up with my oldest could change, if only I was invested enough into our home and family to be consistent. While I was busy outside of our home showing the community Jesus I was doing everything but that at home.
For so long I was stuck in the idea that 'Ministry' had to be something that I actively did. And what Jesus girl doesn't want to be involved in Ministry?! But the thing about 'Ministry' is that you can't be effective in it if you don't have your priorities straight. If spending time getting to know Jesus isn't #1 in your life, if you are acting on your own rather than on what the Lord is leading you to, if everything else in your life is spiraling out of control...get ready..."Ministry" isn't going to work. Oh, you will work at it. Hard. But it won't be effective, because your priorities are out of whack.
That's where I was.
In praying about it I asked the Lord to show me a better way. I believed with everything in me that God had given me the talents and abilities that I have so that I could use them to reach those around me for Jesus. The problem was that I was missing the most important group of people - my family. And basically, I realized that while God may have given me those abilities, he also called me to be wise and prudent.
My thinking began to change...and I became aware of something that I was great at preaching to other people: Everything is possible, but not everything has to be done by me. I had told TDM that so many times with regard to activities that he choose to be involved in, but never once had it occurred to me that it went the other way too.
I am literally shaking my head as I type that last paragraph. How could I have been so dense?
And almost as if in a movie reel, the Lord showed me some things that were pretty ugly. Me putting on a great face for the world but bringing home a very different one to my family. Me sacrificing everything for 'Ministry' but giving my family the scraps that should have ended up in the garbage.
After taking inventory and praying about the variables, I made the decision to finish out a couple of commitments, say 'no' to anything new and turn my focus toward home.
What a great decision that was! Am I on the ball 100%? Noooo.
But what a difference it has made for me to mentally put my husband and family as priorities. I began cooking differently, because that was something that my husband needed for his physical health. And by doing that, I was showing love. I began to change my parenting. Instead of bribery and coercion, I began to respond with consistent answers. And guess what!? Home became a great place to be!
Some days I still wish that I had something exciting to do, and recently I had my panties in a bunch because I hadn't been asked to participate in something that I would have said no to anyway. Silly, huh? But overall, my thinking has changed. Ministry is something that everyone can be involved in. But for today, and for how ever long the Lord has me here, Ministry is here. Inside my home, showing Jesus to my husband and my children.
Because if I don't teach my kids about Jesus and following Him, who will?
And on the home front, the commitments that I had made here were suffering. I would commit to a schedule for naps, but it was 'if there is nothing else that I need to be doing', 'if we are home' and 'we can squeeze it in between ___ and ___' and then I would be frustrated beyond frustrated that nothing I did ever seemed to work.
It became clear to me that something had to go. As I took a mental inventory of the things in my life there were certain things that weren't going away. My husband, our children, our home, financial responsibilities, both sets of our parents...none of those things were variable. But MOPS, women's ministry, planning special events, attending every church activity, decorating bulletin boards, etc...those were variables.
It soon became even clearer that my non-variables were suffering greatly because of the variables. Yes, my family was getting the worst of me so that others could get the best of me. After all, I was just suffering for Jesus, you know!
But that scared me a bit. I realized that my relationship with my husband could change, if I was focusing on the right things. Discipline problems that were springing up with my oldest could change, if only I was invested enough into our home and family to be consistent. While I was busy outside of our home showing the community Jesus I was doing everything but that at home.
For so long I was stuck in the idea that 'Ministry' had to be something that I actively did. And what Jesus girl doesn't want to be involved in Ministry?! But the thing about 'Ministry' is that you can't be effective in it if you don't have your priorities straight. If spending time getting to know Jesus isn't #1 in your life, if you are acting on your own rather than on what the Lord is leading you to, if everything else in your life is spiraling out of control...get ready..."Ministry" isn't going to work. Oh, you will work at it. Hard. But it won't be effective, because your priorities are out of whack.
That's where I was.
In praying about it I asked the Lord to show me a better way. I believed with everything in me that God had given me the talents and abilities that I have so that I could use them to reach those around me for Jesus. The problem was that I was missing the most important group of people - my family. And basically, I realized that while God may have given me those abilities, he also called me to be wise and prudent.
My thinking began to change...and I became aware of something that I was great at preaching to other people: Everything is possible, but not everything has to be done by me. I had told TDM that so many times with regard to activities that he choose to be involved in, but never once had it occurred to me that it went the other way too.
I am literally shaking my head as I type that last paragraph. How could I have been so dense?
And almost as if in a movie reel, the Lord showed me some things that were pretty ugly. Me putting on a great face for the world but bringing home a very different one to my family. Me sacrificing everything for 'Ministry' but giving my family the scraps that should have ended up in the garbage.
After taking inventory and praying about the variables, I made the decision to finish out a couple of commitments, say 'no' to anything new and turn my focus toward home.
What a great decision that was! Am I on the ball 100%? Noooo.
But what a difference it has made for me to mentally put my husband and family as priorities. I began cooking differently, because that was something that my husband needed for his physical health. And by doing that, I was showing love. I began to change my parenting. Instead of bribery and coercion, I began to respond with consistent answers. And guess what!? Home became a great place to be!
Some days I still wish that I had something exciting to do, and recently I had my panties in a bunch because I hadn't been asked to participate in something that I would have said no to anyway. Silly, huh? But overall, my thinking has changed. Ministry is something that everyone can be involved in. But for today, and for how ever long the Lord has me here, Ministry is here. Inside my home, showing Jesus to my husband and my children.
Because if I don't teach my kids about Jesus and following Him, who will?
Spoken by a very wise young women
ReplyDeleteAmen! I miss you!
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