Life
There is so much about this life that I don't understand. I have a compass (the Bible) to help me navigate it - and I use it regularly because I know no other way to find peace in this crazy world. I have a True North (Jesus) who keeps me on the course.
But aside from that, I just don't get life. At a glance it has a cycle to it - you are born, you live, you die. Somewhere in the living process most of us reproduce. Simple, right?
But what about babies who are never born? Or babies that don't get to live more than a few days? What about people who live lives filled with pain from disease? Or mental illness? Are they truly living? What about people who cannot reproduce no matter how much their heart longs to? What about young people who die before their time because of violence? How does that fit into the cycle?
Later this morning I am attending a memorial service for a man who died earlier this week. I have never met the man but I know his daughter and I think very highly of her. Her dad is older, it's fitting that he would die - it's part of the 'cycle' - but the circumstances leading up to his death overwhelm me. This woman married her sweetheart in June. Just a few weeks later her new brother in law died. While she was at his funeral, her grandfather died. A few weeks after that, her dad was hospitalized and not doing well and while she was with her dad she learned that her uncle had died unexpectedly.
In case you lost count - that is three deaths in her immediate family in just a few weeks. Except make it four because now her dad is gone as well. In the 'cycle' this shouldn't be happening - she should still be basking in the new bride feeling and dreaming about babies. She shouldn't be burying people close to her at such an alarming rate, right?
Realization #1 - the 'cycle' means far more to us than it does to God.
Circumstances in my own life recently have caused me to think about my parents mortality. We always think that the people in our lives, especially our parents, will always be around. The truth though, is that there is a 'cycle' and that they won't be. People live, people die. Even the people I don't ever want to think about living without. And we have no say in it.
Earlier this week I found myself stuck in a pity party - thinking only of myself and my feelings. I had a ton of thoughts rolling around in my head telling me how unfair life is and the beginnings of anger at God for even thinking about taking someone near to me from me. After all, it's not part of MY 'cycle' that I have assigned to life.
Realization #2 - the 'cycle' is changeable by me at any point that I don't like the terms of it. My friend can lose her dad - he is older and it's part of the cycle - however I can't lose a parent because 1) they aren't as old as other people are and 2) I don't want to.
Like my friend would choose to be walking this path right now? Am I serious?
Realization #3 - LIFE ISN'T ABOUT ME.
Slap me across the face - this was an audible response from the one true God, Creator of all. "It's not about YOU. It's about ME. It's about My Glory being revealed."
So the conclusion that I have come to is that I don't have to understand. I don't have to like things. I don't get to know a plan ahead of time. I don't get to live life in an orderly 'cycle' that I can both predict and change to fit my particular needs.
But I do get to live this life with God as my lead. I get to converse with him through prayer and Bible study. I get to talk to Him whenever I feel like it. And I can ask him the big questions without fear of sounding stupid or being judged. I don't get life. I never will. But God does - because He created it. And He created me.
But aside from that, I just don't get life. At a glance it has a cycle to it - you are born, you live, you die. Somewhere in the living process most of us reproduce. Simple, right?
But what about babies who are never born? Or babies that don't get to live more than a few days? What about people who live lives filled with pain from disease? Or mental illness? Are they truly living? What about people who cannot reproduce no matter how much their heart longs to? What about young people who die before their time because of violence? How does that fit into the cycle?
Later this morning I am attending a memorial service for a man who died earlier this week. I have never met the man but I know his daughter and I think very highly of her. Her dad is older, it's fitting that he would die - it's part of the 'cycle' - but the circumstances leading up to his death overwhelm me. This woman married her sweetheart in June. Just a few weeks later her new brother in law died. While she was at his funeral, her grandfather died. A few weeks after that, her dad was hospitalized and not doing well and while she was with her dad she learned that her uncle had died unexpectedly.
In case you lost count - that is three deaths in her immediate family in just a few weeks. Except make it four because now her dad is gone as well. In the 'cycle' this shouldn't be happening - she should still be basking in the new bride feeling and dreaming about babies. She shouldn't be burying people close to her at such an alarming rate, right?
Realization #1 - the 'cycle' means far more to us than it does to God.
Circumstances in my own life recently have caused me to think about my parents mortality. We always think that the people in our lives, especially our parents, will always be around. The truth though, is that there is a 'cycle' and that they won't be. People live, people die. Even the people I don't ever want to think about living without. And we have no say in it.
Earlier this week I found myself stuck in a pity party - thinking only of myself and my feelings. I had a ton of thoughts rolling around in my head telling me how unfair life is and the beginnings of anger at God for even thinking about taking someone near to me from me. After all, it's not part of MY 'cycle' that I have assigned to life.
Realization #2 - the 'cycle' is changeable by me at any point that I don't like the terms of it. My friend can lose her dad - he is older and it's part of the cycle - however I can't lose a parent because 1) they aren't as old as other people are and 2) I don't want to.
Like my friend would choose to be walking this path right now? Am I serious?
Realization #3 - LIFE ISN'T ABOUT ME.
Slap me across the face - this was an audible response from the one true God, Creator of all. "It's not about YOU. It's about ME. It's about My Glory being revealed."
So the conclusion that I have come to is that I don't have to understand. I don't have to like things. I don't get to know a plan ahead of time. I don't get to live life in an orderly 'cycle' that I can both predict and change to fit my particular needs.
But I do get to live this life with God as my lead. I get to converse with him through prayer and Bible study. I get to talk to Him whenever I feel like it. And I can ask him the big questions without fear of sounding stupid or being judged. I don't get life. I never will. But God does - because He created it. And He created me.
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