Dear Facebook,

 Dear Facebook,

Twelve years ago I was late to the party to discover Facebook.  Countless friends were already here and it seemed like a fun place to hang out.  As the days went by I connected with people that I hadn't talked to in years and it was amazing to catch up with them again!

While I pregnant with my oldest it became a place to talk to friends while I was on the couch battling morning sickness.  Your platform provided for hours of company while my husband traveled each week and as I rocked a screaming baby for hours on end.

You became a place to share photos with relatives far away and as you added security I felt pretty safe.  You had my back, right?  To be sure I was careful to never add a "friend" that I wouldn't welcome into my home. 
 
I remember not loving the timelines concept and everyone everywhere dreaded the day their account would be selected for the tragedy.   We liked our pages just fine thank.you.very.much.

But change is inevitable and eventually I get used to it so it didn't take long before getting "timelined" was a thing of the past and I moved on to brighter things.

You created ways for me to select my audience and ways to group my friends.  You fed my ego by reporting 'likes' and 'shares'.  You could even show me what someone else saw when they came to my page.  An entire lingo was created for using this space and all the cool kids knew it.  Coming to stare at your blue and white screen was like a visit with a good friend.

It wasn't long before I had a pile of memories on my page and you helped me to remember them.  Each day I could hop 'on' and like a trusted friend, I could count on you to show me what I was doing a year ago, two years ago or more.  That made me want to share more often.

So I did.  Funny things, sad things, news of all kinds.  Anything to keep that memory keeper producing posts for me to be reminded of days gone by.  How often I've lamented deleting every single one of my early posts!  But I was battling postpartum depression and didn't realize that was a cry for help.  You were a good friend Facebook, but not a good enough one to pick up on those red flags. 

My goodness, I've laughed so often from things that I've read on Facebook!  I loved when you added the laughing emoji to the lineup of reactions.  Simple 'likes' were boring and you knew it.  Thanks for making it possible to let people know that they were funny without ever saying a word.  That made communication so simple and it wasn't long before a quick click of the mouse felt like enough.  Except that it lacks human connection through interaction.   But you sort of knew that and invented the "hug" last Spring  - genius! You knew just what all of us needed while stuck at home.  (Forgive me for inserting an eyeroll here.)

One of my favorite memories is of connecting with a young person I never thought I would hear from again.  It was so incredible to search his name again "just for the heck of it" and see those 12 letters arranged perfectly to match my search!  How incredible that you gave us the ability to make that connection!  It was closure that I needed.

You might wonder why I mention all of these things and I suppose that it is time to wrap this letter up.  I mention those things because they represent the good that you have been.  There is a lot more that I could list.  You've been so good to me through the years.

Lately though you've made some really bad decisions.  Choices are free to make but often their consequences have a hefty price tag. 

Choosing to censor people, groups and pages was pretty crappy choice on your part. Silencing the sitting President of the United Sates went a step further than I can look past. 

If I've learned anything in the past year it is to  take care of the people and places that support me.  Sometimes taking care of a person is a phone call or a plate of cookies.  Sometimes taking care of a place is directing my money their direction.  Another thing I have learned is that it is up to me to set a healthy boundary for every relationship I'm in.

I got comfortable with you and grew weak.  It took a bit to realize just how far you had stepped over onto my side.  And as I look around now I realize just how connected we are and it isn't good.

I have reached the conclusion that our relationship has to change.  It's going to take a bit for me to disconnect all of the wires that keep us tied.  You seem to have become a preferred method of communication for many other areas of our lives.  But cutting those wires is necessary.

It began by removing your apps from my phone.  You have been pretty crafty, in that allowing me access to your service through the apps allowed you access to all aspects of my cell phone. 

Ironically, removing you from my life that way has made me think twice before logging in.  Rare is a day in the past week that I log in more than once.  At first it felt odd to not be visiting with my blue and white friend hourly.  Now it feels like freedom.

It begins with moving to platforms that allow me to make a choice about the information that is shared.  Platforms without "fact checkers" because I am a pretty good fact checker myself.  This isn't a service I need from you.  I also appreciate that the other platforms align more with my beliefs about free speech, politics, religion and more.  I've noticed that the folks over there aren't afraid of more than one opinion.  It's pretty refreshing and makes for great conversation.

Thanks for the memories.  Like a token of a past relationship, I've downloaded our history for my own safe keeping.  I'm honestly not sure where we go from here but I'm excited to look the future-without-much-of-you in the eyes and see what it holds. 

Sincerely,

Me