Friendship, the ugly 'b' word and Jesus
Several weeks ago I took something to a friend and then she took it somewhere that it didn't belong. I hate the feeling of betrayal.
{You didn't really thing I was taking this to the other ugly b word, did you?}
This wasn't anything earth shaking but the undercurrent of it shook me. Because I hate not knowing where I can place trust...even though I know that the only one I can ever really trust is Jesus. It's just nice to have a like minded person with skin on to talk things out with, you know?
Truthfully, the thing that hurt the worst was that this was something so incredibly innocent and simple on the heels of huge confidences that I have held for her. I knew that those confidences didn't belong anywhere else and I thought that was understood about this conversation as well. This betrayal felt like a slap in the face of anything that had ever been called a friendship.
It took me a few hours to get past wanting to lash out and a few weeks to really let it digest. It happened and I can choose to dwell there or move on. I'm moving on. I may not trust this friend again but I won't stay stuck where I was the day that I first learned how thin the bloodlines of that friendship were.
You see, in all honesty, I can see myself in that friend. How many times have I betrayed, blatantly or unknowingly, another persons confidence? How many times have I stood where that friend stood several weeks ago?
Sometimes I struggle with the lines of gossip and conversation. My mind is an analytical one and I struggle to find clear lines. I mean, I know when someone crosses 'my' line, but where is THE line?
So I struggle with this betrayal. And I wonder how often Jesus has felt betrayed by the people He calls his own. How thankful I am that He does call me his own, but wowza, how fickle I am! Things not going my way? I have a Savior waiting to for me to call his name, instead I chase the world.
Mixed up priorities? Nope.
A slap in the face of the One who saved me? You betcha.
Because IF Jesus is who I say he is, IF we are as tight as I want to think, IF he is my lifeline, then I am guilty of a ton of betrayal. The conversation never should have taken place with the friend - I should have taken it to Jesus. I might never have involved the friend if I had. Which means that Jesus wouldn't have been left out, she wouldn't have taken it any further and I wouldn't have been left feeling betrayed.
Something to think about, huh? I don't ever want to treat Jesus with the ugly 'b' word or with anything other than praise and appreciation. Pray with me about this, would you?
{You didn't really thing I was taking this to the other ugly b word, did you?}
This wasn't anything earth shaking but the undercurrent of it shook me. Because I hate not knowing where I can place trust...even though I know that the only one I can ever really trust is Jesus. It's just nice to have a like minded person with skin on to talk things out with, you know?
Truthfully, the thing that hurt the worst was that this was something so incredibly innocent and simple on the heels of huge confidences that I have held for her. I knew that those confidences didn't belong anywhere else and I thought that was understood about this conversation as well. This betrayal felt like a slap in the face of anything that had ever been called a friendship.
It took me a few hours to get past wanting to lash out and a few weeks to really let it digest. It happened and I can choose to dwell there or move on. I'm moving on. I may not trust this friend again but I won't stay stuck where I was the day that I first learned how thin the bloodlines of that friendship were.
You see, in all honesty, I can see myself in that friend. How many times have I betrayed, blatantly or unknowingly, another persons confidence? How many times have I stood where that friend stood several weeks ago?
Sometimes I struggle with the lines of gossip and conversation. My mind is an analytical one and I struggle to find clear lines. I mean, I know when someone crosses 'my' line, but where is THE line?
So I struggle with this betrayal. And I wonder how often Jesus has felt betrayed by the people He calls his own. How thankful I am that He does call me his own, but wowza, how fickle I am! Things not going my way? I have a Savior waiting to for me to call his name, instead I chase the world.
Mixed up priorities? Nope.
A slap in the face of the One who saved me? You betcha.
Because IF Jesus is who I say he is, IF we are as tight as I want to think, IF he is my lifeline, then I am guilty of a ton of betrayal. The conversation never should have taken place with the friend - I should have taken it to Jesus. I might never have involved the friend if I had. Which means that Jesus wouldn't have been left out, she wouldn't have taken it any further and I wouldn't have been left feeling betrayed.
Something to think about, huh? I don't ever want to treat Jesus with the ugly 'b' word or with anything other than praise and appreciation. Pray with me about this, would you?
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