Emotions and bus rides

Emotions are an interesting beast. 

Mine are anyway.  On any given day they could take about twelve different directions and leave me feeling as though I can’t sort anything out.  From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows…and that is with me trying to keep them in check!  So many of my highs and lows come from the ‘unknowns’ of life.

I feel almost paralyzed this morning.  Plans that were supposed to be set are hanging on a return phone call.  That phone call will then kick off a series of schedule changes that affect three other people.  And we aren’t talking national security here, just a dentist appointment, but it affects other people that are helping me get one kid to the dentist while the other goes to school.  It’s really quite silly.

And then my husband calls, and something that we have been specifically praying about but assumed was completely off the table just got put on the edge of the table.  Is that you Lord?  A whole heap of unknowns within this too.  Money, schedules, open doors.  God is good.  All of the time.  But please pray for us.

And truthfully, I am still reeling a bit from a revelation that I had Sunday night.  About assumed friendships and known acquaintances.  About feeling as though I was thrown under a bus that, really, honestly, I was never even invited to ride.  It hurts.  Truth hurts.  And it doesn't change the fact that I will always stand for TRUTH even when it's a lonely place where others may not agree.

So I find myself this morning not sure how to put one foot in front of the other.  Adding words to a screen, knowing that they will make no sense to anyone but me, hitting ‘post’ and snuggling up with my kids.  It’s all going to work out.  It’s all going to fall into place and my emotions will level off again.  And God will still be on the throne, because thankfully that never changes.