Bravery and the leveling of mountains.
It was a Friday night in December and I was stuck trying to get out a neighborhood where I had taken my girls to see Christmas lights. It hadn't been plowed and for whatever reason, I couldn't get enough traction to get the car from where it was to where it needed to be. To make things even better I couldn't find my phone. The bad just kept stacking up on me.
How in the world am I going to do this?!
And THIS wasn't getting out to the main road. THIS was much bigger, THIS was how am I going to manage life with my husband back on the road? How am I going to be everything that our kids need me to be in their dad's absence?
Tears flowing, tires spinning and determination rising, from somewhere in the recesses of my brain came the Winnie the Pooh quote "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think."
Brave. Yeah, time to put on that face.
I felt anything but brave in that moment. We had zero money going into the new year, TDM going back to work wasn't an option, it was necessity. But trucking? Me, alone with the girls 24 hours a day? I wasn't so sure that I wanted to go back to that life. And what if, like that night, I got stuck somewhere? WHO was I going to call?! My parents wouldn't always be just around the corner. TDM's parents wouldn't be either. Cue the pity party, huh?
Truth be told, my husband probably wasn't super thrilled with the trucking idea either. Yep, it's his profession and he was a teeny bit excited to get back in the drivers seat but in all honesty, he probably needed to hear from Winnie the Pooh as much as I did that night. And lots of nights after that. He isn't doing an easy job. And he is the one who actually has to leave home, drive for days on end, throw tarps, deal with people and traffic and miss his family.
I made it out of that neighborhood that night, using a little creativity (and a whole lot of backing up). We made it home safely. I found my phone. And I have worked through many of my doubts. And we are almost two and a half months into this new life.
The benefits? A regular paycheck, a husband who seems happy even though he misses us and technology that keeps us in contact. Oh, and I don't have to do a lick of paperwork! :)
The down side? TDM's schedule isn't his own. He doesn't to have any say in where he is going, or when. His time at home is limited.
The other benefit? I have spent a lot more time leaning on the Lord's strength instead of my own.
You see, Winnie the Pooh is pretty close to right. I AM braver than I believe. But only because when the Lord equips me with bravery. I AM stronger than I seem. But only when I am drawing my strength from the Lord. I AM smarter than I think. But only because I was born with exceptionally great genes. Just kidding! :)
"I will go before you and will level mountains!"
I found this verse in Isaiah 45:2 last week. Amazing! The passage goes on to talk about the Lord breaking down gates and cutting through bars and that He does all of these things so that we will KNOW that He is the Lord.
What a great promise!
How in the world am I going to do this?!
And THIS wasn't getting out to the main road. THIS was much bigger, THIS was how am I going to manage life with my husband back on the road? How am I going to be everything that our kids need me to be in their dad's absence?
Tears flowing, tires spinning and determination rising, from somewhere in the recesses of my brain came the Winnie the Pooh quote "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think."
Brave. Yeah, time to put on that face.
I felt anything but brave in that moment. We had zero money going into the new year, TDM going back to work wasn't an option, it was necessity. But trucking? Me, alone with the girls 24 hours a day? I wasn't so sure that I wanted to go back to that life. And what if, like that night, I got stuck somewhere? WHO was I going to call?! My parents wouldn't always be just around the corner. TDM's parents wouldn't be either. Cue the pity party, huh?
Truth be told, my husband probably wasn't super thrilled with the trucking idea either. Yep, it's his profession and he was a teeny bit excited to get back in the drivers seat but in all honesty, he probably needed to hear from Winnie the Pooh as much as I did that night. And lots of nights after that. He isn't doing an easy job. And he is the one who actually has to leave home, drive for days on end, throw tarps, deal with people and traffic and miss his family.
I made it out of that neighborhood that night, using a little creativity (and a whole lot of backing up). We made it home safely. I found my phone. And I have worked through many of my doubts. And we are almost two and a half months into this new life.
The benefits? A regular paycheck, a husband who seems happy even though he misses us and technology that keeps us in contact. Oh, and I don't have to do a lick of paperwork! :)
The down side? TDM's schedule isn't his own. He doesn't to have any say in where he is going, or when. His time at home is limited.
The other benefit? I have spent a lot more time leaning on the Lord's strength instead of my own.
You see, Winnie the Pooh is pretty close to right. I AM braver than I believe. But only because when the Lord equips me with bravery. I AM stronger than I seem. But only when I am drawing my strength from the Lord. I AM smarter than I think. But only because I was born with exceptionally great genes. Just kidding! :)
"I will go before you and will level mountains!"
I found this verse in Isaiah 45:2 last week. Amazing! The passage goes on to talk about the Lord breaking down gates and cutting through bars and that He does all of these things so that we will KNOW that He is the Lord.
What a great promise!
What a great promise yet so easy to forget when we take our eyes off God. AND you do have awesome genes!!
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